Serious Bassist Needed for Creed-Nickelback Cover Band in Denver

Butt rock musicians, this is your time to shine. A Creed-Nickelback cover band in Denver is looking for a bassist passionate about the subgenre.

"We are a SERIOUS rock band looking to get into some meaningful, powerful, christian, Creed covers. We're looking for dedicated musicians who's arms are wide open, under the sunlight, to welcome into this place. We'll show you everything," the Denver band's obviously (hopefully) satirical Denver Craigslist post reads.

As in any professional audition process, the bassist must meet a basic list of requirements:

• Has a soulpatch.
• Wears longsleeve white buttondowns - only buttoned up halfway, exposing chest hair.
• Must wear a silver cross necklace resting upon said exposed chest hair.
• Has hair long enough to wear a tiny ponytail (this is meant to show one's sensitivity, apparently).
• Must be able to look the band in the eyes while listening to "Photograph" by Nickelback without crying. (Listen and watch below.)

Serious applicants are to email the email provided in the Craigslist post with a picture of the applicant wielding their instrument proudly.

In case you don't know what butt rock is, allow us to explain it through the PSA below.