Why is Butch Joining a Dating Site?

I probably don't need to tell you, but online dating is booming. You can't turn on the TV without seeing an ad for one of the sites, and just about every website you go to has a link to one as well. It makes it tempting for a guy like me to go check them out and see what they are all about. 

I have had this crazy idea in my head for awhile, some may call it cruel, so I decided to keep pushing it off... I wanted to join a dating site as a phony, try to get dates, put on different personalities, and then chronicle my findings right here for the whole world to see/read. Chick flick watchers may remember a movie called "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days," something like that, but only a more modernized version. As I had these ideas I always was sort of seeing someone, (what was I thinking) and I didn't want to hurt their feelings or seem unfaithful, and I also was in a "nice guy" phase and didn't want to upset a fellow online-dater, so I never did it.

Well, I am no longer wasting time on no-good relationships, and because of the way some of my relationships have went, my "nice guy-ness" is wearing off. Therefore as I was laying in bed watching reruns of Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives last night I decided it was time for me to pursue this crazy, maybe part evil, plan.

So today I started looking at a few different sites and realized this sh** isn't free!!! That means I am going to have to pick just one, because I am poor, and I'm not paying $30 a month for more than one of these bad boys.

I also learned by looking at some of the chicks that there are no happy mediums... Either they are way out of my league super hot, or they are the type I would be embarrassed to take around my friends. So, I either have to shave my beard and go shopping, or let my friends make fun of me for the rest of my life... This could get real interesting!!

I know what you are thinking... "What site did you choose, Butch?" Well, I am not going to tell you because I don't want you running on there and trying to pull some funny stuff on me like I am trying to do. The funny stuff is my job!

So there are a few things I have to ask of you... First, this is our little secret. No one outside the Loudwire family is to find out about this, so if I end up accidentally setting up a date with your best friend, you have to promise to tell her you have never heard of me. Also, I am a horrible dater, so I may need some suggestions along the way so that I don't get my ass kicked or even worse, laughed at. So, if I come on here asking you to help me pick out an outfit for one of my dates or a place to go eat, I need you to give me honest opinions. If we can agree on these few rules, we can get started and have some fun (evil laugh (;).