Greeley Woman Calls the Police Over a Can of Tuna

Once a week my hometown newspaper, the Greeley Tribune, puts together what they call their Crime Log. Basically they find the weirdest sh** that the cops encountered, and believe me there is a lot, in the town over the previous week. Sometimes it seems as though common sense is at premium, and calling 911 because you find something you don't like in your can of tuna may be the biggest WTF moment the Crime Log has ever seen. 

Let me remind you that most major food manufacturers in the United States today use factories with machines to prep and pack all of their foods. Although, technology has come a long way, there can still be the element of surprise when you open up a can, box, jar, etc. that you just picked up from the store. I personally can remember a time when I opened up a can of green chili sauce, put some on my burrito, and found a long almost noodle looking object. It turned out to be a long vein from the pork that is in the chili. I am sure the company didn't want there to be a vein in my chili, and I couldn't eat the stuff the for a long time, but I never had the urge to call the cops because of it. Now although I have never found scales or bones in a can of tuna, I get the feeling I wouldn't dial 911. But hey, everyone's different, right?

February 8th, 5:27 p.m.: A woman was eating a can of Starkist tuna when she found a scale and a bone. She wasn’t feeling ill, but she was wondering what she should do and whether she needed to report it to the police department.

Maybe this poor woman just needed a Jessica Simpson reminder that "Chicken of the Sea" is actually not chicken at all, and is in fact fish... Fish have scales and bones, so if you choose to eat them, you may end up with them in your mouth... I would much rather have a bone in my tuna than a finger in my chili at Wendy's or a live frog in my bag of salad!

Some of the other Crime Log highlights this week included:

-Two people wearing hoodies were sitting in a Ford Taurus near 90th Avenue and 20th Street. The windows were all fogged up, and the caller thought they were up to no good.

-Someone’s cousin’s wife sent a woman an inappropriate text message, and the caller thought it was sexual harassment. Officers responded and said the caller should stop texting her cousin’s wife and it would be best to ignore the texts. The caller did not like the officer’s answer.

-A woman in the 1100 block of 7th Street wanted to speak with an officer about her religious beliefs and her disappointment with the city of Greeley.

-A caller reported having a squirrel caught in his trailer. He wanted to know if authorities had a trap.