Dude Calls the Greeley Police Because a Chick He Met On Facebook Talks About Marriage

Once a week my hometown newspaper, the Greeley Tribune, puts together what they call their Crime Log. Basically they find the weirdest sh** that the cops encountered, and believe me there is a lot, in the town over the previous week. Sure, there are a lot of weirdos online, but is calling the cops on a chick who wants to marry you on Facebook really necessary? 

I think we can all agree that most of the weirdos you find online are guys. For some reason our sex has a tough time controlling their hormones especially when they are hiding behind a computer screen. But every once in awhile you will find a crazy a chick, and speaking from experience, the easiest way to get away from her if you aren't into her is to block her on Facebook. It turns out that some dude in Greeley wasn't clever enough to figure that out, and after knowing each other on Facebook for only four days got the marriage talk from some chick on Facebook. I don't blame the guy for freaking a bit, but getting the cops involved seems like a bit much!

Feb. 2, 11:21 a.m.: Someone went to the police department to speak with an officer about being online with a Facebook friend who kept making disturbing statements. The two had only met four days ago, but the woman was already talking about marriage.

I am not sure what kind of disturbing statements were being made or what this chick looked like, but if you are desperate enough to meet partners online, then take what you can get! This chick sounds kind of horny, so at least get a piece of the action once before you run to the cops because she wants to marry you!

Some of the other Crime Log highlights this week included:

-A woman wanted police to investigate the area near her home because her car alarm kept going off saying, “You are getting too close to the vehicle, please stand back.” Police did not see any footprints in the snow anywhere near the vehicle.

-A caller notified police of a man who was rolling around in the snow near the intersection of 35th Avenue and 22nd Street. When asked for a better description of the man, the caller simply said, “the guy is covered in snow.”

-A man in the 2400 block of 11th Street wanted to know if there was anything that could be done about the neighbors below him smoking marijuana all the time. It was making his apartment smell.

-A group of three teenagers threw an ice cream cone in the manager’s face the night before at the McDonald’s in the 2500 block of 47th Avenue. The manager knew who they were and said it was an ongoing problem and the teens should be banned from the restaurant.

-People were reportedly in a brown or gray Lincoln doing “nasty stuff” in the 1700 block of 6th Avenue.