50 Shades Of Herpes

I haven't read 50 Shades Of Grey but I think you have. You seem like the type. The pervy, smut reading type. You're not? Yeah. Keep saying that. I do like book learning and book reading but haven't experienced the floozery of that one yet. Any minute thread of interest in reading it has been eradicated by the discovery of herpes infected copies of 50 Shades in the Belgian Public Library System. By the way, if I were to start a secret organization (that would most likely evolve/devolve into a criminal empire/syndicate and/or Hall & Oates-esque singing duo) I'd totally call it the Belgian Public Library System.

Anyway, for whatever reason, Belgian library officials thought to check the 10 most checked out books for the clap and other STD's  and found herpes on 50 Shades Of Grey. I kind of feel like that's a risk you take when reading smut. You know the risks, man.

In addition to the privates scurvy, they found traces of cocaine on other books in the top 10. I've suspected those Twilight Books were laced with some sort of addictive substance for some time so I feel some vindication here. On the bright side, now that word has gotten out the books may be drug laden, library card sign ups should go through the roof.

I guess the over all message here is, never, ever read. Not even this. Stop it. Right now.

While you're at it, you should probably skip math too. Be safe out there.